50shadesofyodaddysdick:

eilwaen:

looks like we got a lying whore

he was so into it lol

466,464 notes
  • Kidnapper: Get in the fukin van
  • Me: Oh ok cool
  • Kidnapper: Wut
  • Me: This is a febreze commercial right
  • Kidnapper: Wut
  • Me: Smells pretty shitty in here to me tbh
47,922 notes
american-radical:

Preach


Hmm I actually didn’t bring small pox anywhere and worrying about Ebola doesn’t make me racist, but nice try.


sassykardashian:

YOU KNOW WHEN YOU HAVE A LIL CRUSH ON SOMEONE BUT THEN AFTER A FEW DAYS YOU CATCH YOURSELF THINKING ABOUT THEM A LOT AND THAT LIL CRUSH IS NO LONGER A LIL CRUSH IT’S AN ADULT CRUSH AND IT RUINS YOUR LIFE LIKE WTF I DIDN’T SIGN ON FOR THIS

275,363 notes

boicult:

me as hell

287,248 notes



2,760 notes

godmuva:

Why people ask me shit like “how was work?” or “how is school?” like work is work, school is school, I would rather be on a yacht right now while gettin some dick but here I am

113,798 notes






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